You know you hurt me. I saw it in your eyes. The funny thing is you just kept on walking. Thats what hurt the most, you knew, and you didn't care. Our friendship should be stronger than that. But that's alright, I am the better person. I wont pick a fight, i don't do that. I am so much stronger then you and even though you have everything, friends, money, happiness, i feel sorry for you. Because you are hollow. And I am in so much pain, constantly, but at least i dont lie to myself. I know I'm not perfect. I know no one cares. I realised he doesn't love me. And i pushed through. You keep trying. And you wont get anywhere. Because he doesn't love you. You choose fantasy over reality, and you choose him over me. That hurt.

how incredibly, entirely and amazingly true.

god, i love to sing. i have no talent, i am horrible, but the way the words flow into tune, your soul comes out in a good song, its like you are flying.

you channel yourself into words that come out like gushes of wind, and they flow into the air like rain, touching everyone that lets it. and god, do i feel alive when i sing and everyone looks at me. when they smile and wave and laugh. some people live in maths and some live to paint, some live to make beautiful music and some live just for the thrill. i live to write. to share words with others is the best thing i can do. i love to hear what people have to say when they read what i write. and it makes me feel whole when i know the words that have naturally flown from my fingertips, get under peoples skin and make them listen. and the way they realise that i am completely, totally and entirely right. that i tell more truth on paper then people have heard ever before. that is what i thrive to hear.

the hardest thing to do, is letting it out. telling people how you feel. so i dont. i keep it in. always keeeping my feelings at the very bottom of the crevass that is my soul. and my god, that hurts more then everything put together. knowing that you will die with the pain that has always been there. and that no one else will know how you have suffered. that is why i need to escape. this city has kept me down to long. i dont know why i feel this but, if i get away from it all maybe it will leave. maybe the stupid creature thats always in the back of my head, always telling me how im the outsider, how i dont fit in, how i am completely unloved, will be banished from my sick and stupid mind forever. but maybe that creature isn't the thing that has gotten in, maybe i am the creature. those dark thoughts are mine. i am the sick minded soul, with no hope for love or happiness. maybe i really am unloveable. maybe all those times people have told me they love me, told me i am pretty and smart and kind were just ways they could get rid of me. just ways they could get me to leave. they dont want me here. no one wants me here. no one. but thats ok. i dont mind. i will write to keep the beast at bay. write away the creature that has kept me down for so long. and maybe some day some stupid beautiful amazing person will follow this page. and i will feel like my words aren't as unworthy as they are now. because some day, i will rule my own world, i will do as i please. i will eat icecream for dinner and have chocolate for breakfast. but untill then i am alone. i will search every dark corner i have. i will awaken surpressed memories so i know who i really am. i will ask people how they truly feel about me, and not their sick stupid lies. i neeed truth. i live on truth. that is what keeeps me going. what keeps me writing and laughing, my hollow laugh. i know how hard it is to hear truth on this lonely planet, because the world was built on lies.