it's still there. whenever im alone. i need to distract myself.
it changes from day to day, the feelings. i can tell by what i've written.
it makes me sad, knowing that i was so happy such a short time ago.
i think the best thing to do is move, but i am to scared.
change scares me, and it shouldn't.
this is stupid. but i cant speak to anyone.
i feel like an idiot. like these feelings aren't real to anyone i
tell in words. but i need to get out of this. it's eating me up inside,
its like my world is dying. my friends are almost dead to me. i am dead inside.
i cant do this anymore. i need to escape. but i cant find the words...
and words mean so much. i feel so weak. it's not like it's that bad.
i cried myself to sleep last night. for the first time in 3 years. and i
felt so peaceful. it helped. to have the tears there as my companion.
this is my diary now. i am to nervous to write a real diary.
the feelings will be out, for others to see. at least here i am alone. no
one follows me. i dont mind.
because this is where i am me. i dont think i can share it yet.